I am not a big fan of motivational posters and phrases. They often lack nuance and take a vague and simplistic approach to the subject. It’s hard to disagree with them, and it’s hard to really take anything concrete from them. But then luck will have it that every once in a while, someone has made the subjects crystal clear and actionable. Like a grand-parent, taking their time to spread the wisdom they have learned over a long life, distilled into something so concrete and relatable that you can’t help but feel changed after consuming it.
Along comes Kipling
This poem really encapsulates a modern take on stoicism that unfortunately has been lost in too many people. I heard it some time ago, and it has stayed in my mind ever since. There are a lot of things to consider, and a lot of ideals to live up to, so there are probably not a lot of people doing this perfectly. Like in the case of Lazarus Long and J.F. Roxburgh, “man” should not be taken as gender, but as human.
Give it a read and let it sink in
“If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wiseIf you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out toolsIf you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!”
― Rudyard Kipling, If: A Father’s Advice to His Son
In simple words…
If you can see people as people, not as titles, and situations as neither good nor bad. If you can avoid judging and work hard even if uncomfortable. If you can avoid taking things personal and taking offence…. You’ll be all right.